The slippery slope of believing in Destiny (緣份)

In the Chinese vocabulary there is the word "yuen fun 緣份": Destiny and fate. Of course, like the west, this applies to many aspects of your lives, whether it be our career, relationships with the array of people we encounter or our health. Very often do people tell me that certain things in life cannot be explained or even proactively pursued and that I should just believe in "yuen fun", and let it be, that good old destiny will work its wonder and you working against it will not help. That however on many levels perplexes me.

Let's take romantic relationship as an example: very often do people say let "yuen fun" do its job. That, to me however, sounds like I should sit back and do nothing about it. But then why should I deserve to be loved when I do nothing about it? And let me illustrate with two examples. My girlfriend and her man, when they first knew each other, her man explicitly expressed his feelings towards her. She however felt it was necessary to get to know this guy and not rush into being in a relationship. This getting to know each other process however turned into a year long project... Within the year, the guy could easily have thought "If its not in my cards to have this girl, if its not 'yuen fun', then I shouldn't push it, I should just give up." But he didn't, he steadfastly reached out to her, got to know her, showed her he was gonna be there in the long run and eventually got to be her boyfriend. And guess what?...They are now happily married!=) Another example: Online dating. I am close to a married couple who met each other online. If either one of them thought to themselves "I will let yuen fun guide my way, and online dating is not right." then they will not be married, and they will not have the beautiful baby girl they have right now. Their history would have entirely changed because of that fatal thought of "yuen fun". I think "yuen fun" is a slippery slope and excuse we make so that we don't do the hard work...

I recently saw the movie Cloud Atlas, and I have to say I love it! Although I have heard people say it's convoluted, you will however notice the motif of the movie is simple: emancipating from your so-called destiny. Which is everything I believe in and endorse for. 

As much as I love the movie Serendipity, I don't like it because I believe in the idea of fate. I love it because it is set in Manhattan,in Christmas, has an Alan Silvestri score, stars Kate Beckingsale and John Cusack has interesting characters like Dean, I will stop the list here. I however do not believe in serendipitous signs or destiny, that the whole world conspires to bring two people together, that there's a cosmic force that we cannot and should not dare to change. I in contrary detest if not loathe the idea. What is the purpose of life then if everything is predestined? That we have no say? I believe in being proactive, in fighting for what you love. That is what makes our lives intriguing and worth getting up everyday. Our ability to grasp our future and change our paths. That is life!=)