Men Taking Up Their Wives Surname

So apparently Zoe Saldana's husband has taken up her surname after they got married and has stirred a viral controversy that digs up men who has taken the same "novelty".

Us Chinese are known to be rather conservative and patriarchal, yet it is interesting the west does not know that men taking up a women's surname is no novelty. For many dynasties, when a family of wealth cannot reproduce a male heir, the father will buy a husband to take the family's surname. This seemingly matriarchal custom, is in fact the contrary. The fathers' of both families are ultimately the decision makers of these arranged marriage perpetuating this patriarchal decision as well as belief in lineage of their ancestral name.

Growing up with the surname Heung in Mississauga ON has never led me to question my lineage. Moving back to Hong Kong, I grew to understand Heung is not a common surname. I also grew to know the fore mentioned accustom in ancient China. Yet as a girl of ten years old, I never questioned why we had the same custom the western world had too. Having said, growing up in a family of many girls but only two male cousins, has always left uncertainty to my families lineage, one that I thought I had no control of.

However, as a Heung, I was always proud to be one. Heung connotes so many positive and homy concepts for me: first and fore most, everyone can think about aroma. Then, for me it also connotes the "Hong" in "Hong Kong" which is where I spent my teenage years and most of my twenties. And thirdly, the translation of tulips into English pronunciation is "wut gum heung", and tulips have always had an dear relation to me. I still recall when my grandmother lived with us for some time in Mississauga, she would plant tulip bulbs in the front lawn, and they were the most beautiful flowers I saw as a little girl. I also recall going to Niagra Falls in the spring with my grandma when the tulips blossomed everywhere. Perhaps that is why I have always been cautious of how I smell, and my love for nice eau de parfum, aroma therapeutic candles or oil massages. In short being "Heung", has and still is important to me. It is why I named my blog: Allyheungkong.

When considering this surname issue, I pondered on the great names in the western world that has died out. Naturally I thought of the Bard, Shakespeare. Did he have children? Yes. Why did the lineage die out. Precisely because of the controversy we have right now. Does carrying on only the men's surname imply their names are the only one's worth carrying on? What does that say about our humanity? Because right now, it is not a matter of norm and equality, I think we already have reached a verdict that it is a question worth thinking about. But how are we to approach this subject? How are we to weigh whose surname is more worthy? What do customs and norms mean? How are we to eliminate stigma? While I wish I know how to answer these questions, I have to admit, I don't. But I am happy that equality has taken a step forward and our world is not a world of Game of Thrones (to the fans of GoT #sorrynotsorry).

While this controversy arises, it is celebratory it has arose at a time women empowerment is at full speed. Merely days ago did we receive the news that Nigeria has banned female genital mutation (FGM). If we can bond together and create steadfast beliefs, robust persistence to stand our grounds and the courage to fight for it, then the gender wage gap will be history, child marriage will be extinct, and our daughters will be able to raise their heads up high with full confidence, our world will be a more beautiful place.