好 loi 都無寫中文， 亦有感而發。很多人都知道我不識打中文，不過幸好有Cantoneseinput.com. 不過都希望大家不會笑我的中文，廣東話gap jap 書面語同 Chinglish 。Lee 幾日放 term break, 除左 relax, 同準備搬家外，亦用左好多時間寫作，希望年底可以將小說同另外一本非小說寫好。寫的同時亦反省 30年來做 guo gei yeh......
中國人說: :"正心、修身、齐家、治国、平天下". 自己覺得首一二都是忠生的. "齐家" for 好多香港人黎講係結婚，生兒育女。Once upon a time, 我都甘諗。但係人大左，發現"齐家" 可以係孝順, also延伸 老吾老，以及人之老，幼吾幼，以及人之幼."治国、平天下" 好像遙不可能，不過其實不是。
香港人鍾意抱怨， 抱怨上樓，抱怨政改遲疑不決，亦說到自己為了民主精神上街. 不過同時亦不會覺得豪華婚禮 and prewedding pictures 是問題。Lately 仲有四十萬 proposal from a working class. 香港人抱怨香港係文化沙漠。甘又何時諗點解？有無反省？
Sorry, I used a whole hour to type that but for efficiency's sake I will have to type in English and shall insert Chinese when needed:
Coming to Canada to do my masters made me reflect a lot on myself, my family, my community both here in Waterloo and the bigger Ontario and Canada as well as Hong Kong, the bigger Asia and world issues. Reading about Marxism is delightful, but thinking about the two world wars torments me too. However reflecting on our capitalist society and mindset that our superpowers have been able to sustain and brainwash us is the way to do things, (in which yes meritocracy is fundamental to a society), but with corrupted minds and hidden agendas everywhere, there is no wonder poverty is not history, there is still war in the middle east, and yet we are thinking about mortgage and universal suffrage. Why?
We let politicians talk around things.
We let the media talk around things.
We talk around things.
There is no debate on whether poverty needs to be fixed just as much as if war needs to stop.
Stop debating on what is the best way.
War for peace is a fallacy a four year old can understand.
Poverty to be history is not a Disney movie with "Let them eat" as their theme song.
When we grinde ourselves to work on a job we don't love 9-5, or for some 75 hours a week, just so you can buy that Mercedes and that big apartment, you will want more. You will want the next title, you will want a bigger house, you will want the newest Prada bag, you will want your next trip to Paris. And then fifty years will go by and you will ask yourself: Was I happy? and the answer might be yes I was happy. And you may feel you have no problem dying that way. But if you don't fight the system, and you keep working for that system, don't complain about it. Because I wouldn't.
Some people may think I have been privileged from living in Canada as a kid and the opportunity to come back again. But how many do you know the hardships my parents went through as immigrants? They work 10 times harder than anyone. And that is one thing I will never forget in my life. I am not entitled to anything. I certainly worked very hard learning Chinese at the age of 9, and God knows how hard I worked to come back here. I certainly worked hard to get into the high school I got into. And even then I did not slack, in the contrary I strove to be the "best", to have my niche. But you will never be the "best". You might be in your tiny little high school or tiny little community, but there is a world of humble, constantly learning and reflecting people out in the world who truly want to make a change, one volunteer at a time. There are people who want to make a difference, one tweet at a time. That's what I choose to do. At least I know this for now. I was once lost, but I am now found.
And here's where the parenting comes in:
I am no parent, but I am a daughter, and I was and most probably will be a teacher again. Growing up in Mississauga, my parents were constantly at work, working 2-3 jobs at the same time. A degree in Econ from Waterloo makes no difference, as a minority in the 80s, you have to work your way up, if that means managing a McDonald's franchise and work another job as well, that's just how it is.
When recent Hong Kong parents ranging from middle class to upper push their 2 year olds into playgroups, I reflect on how I was brought up and how my parents were super parents, and I turned out, well let's just say not too shabby (there might have been many hiccups here and there, but we got there).
My mom never pushed us to learn anything. The cycling classes from my dad and swimming classes my mom overlooked was vague memory except that it was too joyous not to accept. Naturally, I became very fond of swimming. I will leave that for another blog. But even piano classes, Chinese calligraphy, horse riding, dance classes and French class was all out of my own interest. I did not stick with piano, and my Asian mom had no problem with that, though my teacher said "She has rhythm and fidgets a lot, she might be better off as a dancer." That strict Russian teacher whom I do not even remember her name was quite right. Dancing has been a big part of my life, i danced as early as I can remember to random pop tunes by Aaron Kwok and Sandy Lam in the 90s. I kept dancing to Britney and Beyonce in high school, I cheerleaded, and eventually Latin dance and some jazz classes were introduced into my life. Despite it not being a major part of my life anymore, I don't see the residue of it going anywhere. In fact it sparked my undergraduate dissertation. And I still have my dance shoes. Dancing has inspired many of my writing both verses and prose.
Having taught in playgroups, kindergartens, elementary tutorial and high schools both local and international, I see a wide range of students of all forms and personalities. I interact with many parents, all reasonably want the very best for their children. And when I try to picture the people they will turn into, I am often overwhelmed with all the possibilities, but also overwhelmed at what their parents would expect of them. Doctors, lawyers, bankers, accountants, engineers, nursing to the very least. But hopefully some of them get to choose to study psychology not because they want to go into HR but because they are interested in the human mind and wants to pursue a PhD in it, or they will choose to study fine arts, not because they want to teach but because they want to be a painter or curator.
At the end of the day, what you need to do as a parent is not give them building blocks, or even direct them how to build, but teach them the important personality characteristics that will get them to build whatever they want to build, in whatever shape and form. They will find their own ways of finding those building blocks and their own ways of using them. Once my sister and I knew how to swim, we didn't go off to Thailand and Bali to "practice" in the pools there. We stayed in Hong Kong to enjoy the fun of swimming. My mom did not buy me books galore to keep at home as a kid, instead she brought my sister and I to the library every weekend to explore for hours. She herself would get lost in child development books and cook books. She never said "read this zoo book" she let us choose whatever we want.That's how I fell in love with Anne of Green Gables and The Winds in the Willow amongst other reads. That's how I found what I wanted to do for life: Write Right.
Let your children find their own paths, be the role model of diligence and persistence. Once myy sister and I got into high school and can go to school by ourselves, help with ironing uniforms and occasionally dishes, my mom took a course to learn new computer skills. And she has been reintegrated into the workforce ever since. At the end of the day, showing your children you work hard, as well as giving them responsibilities is they will remember is what really counts. Along the way they might pick up some useful shortcuts, some which will get them to places faster, some may be dangerous and harm them. But letting them have the liberty to choose gives them no excuse but to stand up and keep going until they get to their bright destinations they fought so hard for. And trust me, they will thank you.
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